For those of you who do not know this is a personality disorder, I've included definition and symptoms below.
Attention seeking
Like most personality disorders, attention seeking occurs to different degrees in different people and reveals itself in many ways. When present in excess the short-term benefits are outweighed by long-term unsustainability which can, and often does, lead to disaster.
The need for attention is paramount to the person. He or she will do or say anything to obtain that attention.
In most (although not all) cases, the identified attention seekers as a female whose objective is to demonstrate to the world what a wonderful, kind, caring, compassionate person she is. Bold pronouncements, a prominent position, gushing insincere empathy.
The Attention-Seeker
Motivation: to be the centre of attention
Mindset: control freak, manipulation, narcissism
Malice: medium to high; and when held accountable for their actions, very high
- emotionally immature
- selectively friendly - is sickly sweet to some people, rude and offhand to others, and ignores the rest
- is cold and aggressive towards anyone who sees them for what they really are or exposes their strategies for gaining attention
- over-friendly with their new target, especially in the initial stages of a new working relationship
- over-helpful, with their new target, especially in the initial stages of a new working relationship
- overgenerous, with their new target, especially in the initial stages of a new working relationship
- manipulative of people's perceptions, but in an amateur and childish manner
- manipulative with guilt, but in an amateur and childish manner
- sycophantic, fawning, toadying
- uses flattery to keep a person in authority on side
- everything is a drama, usually a poor-me drama
- prefers not to solve problems in own life so that they can be used and re-used for gaining sympathy and attention
- capitalizes on issues and uses them as a soapbox for gaining attention
- exploits others' suffering and grief as a vehicle for gaining attention
- misappropriates others' statements or behaviors, e.g. anything which can be misconstrued as hostil towards them, for control and attention-seeking
- excusitis, makes excuses for everything ( in order to sometimes justify behaviors)
- shows a lot of indignation, especially when challenged
- lots of self-pity
- often as incredibly miserable, apart from carefully constructed moments of charm when in the act of deceiving
- demanding of others ( more so than of themselves)
- easily provoked
- feigns victim-hood when held accountable, usually by bursting into tears, arguing or claiming they're the one being bullied, harassed, or mistreated
- presents as a false victim when outwitted
- may feign exclusion, isolation or persecution
- malicious
- constantly tries and will do almost anything, or turn conversations so they can be in the spotlight
- may include Munchausen Syndrome
- the focus of their life is to be the centre of attention, even if they are unaware of it.
I had another person in my life quite a few months ago who started off doing MANY of these very same things....this was the "friend" of 15 years I had to completely remove from my life because she had been hurting too many people I care about, and being an emotional vampire.
I do not want to remove another person from my life....but I am finding being around them is getting to be very draining.
I care about this person, but I doubt they would even admit to themselves that he/she is behaving like this...which would be the most important first step.
I have been agonizing how to put all this into words that made sense. I do not want to be somebody who jumps to conclusions...but the more I see...the more I see a problem. This is something that I need to mull over much more.....I pray that I am wrong, but I doubt it....
So I will also pray that they gain the help they need, or at least the perspective to see that this may be a problem. It does make me feel pretty helpless though. I know if I told them this they would become VERY agitated and that would get my anxiety disorder acting up...and I want to avoid that as much as possible....if I wasn't on my meds for depression I would have probably gotten right hot with this person already...especially with some of the things that are going on....but for my control I'm glad I am on my pills they help me to think straight and see clearer.
I just hope they see clearer soon too.
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