FINALLY!!!

After much much reading and learning I have found and figured out how to use a different blog skin so my blog better reflects my personality, then templates were NOT me in anyway. I think this one is it :)

Well the last month or so has been QUITE the trauma and drama, I had some dear friend(s) of mine in utter drama, with relationships, dead lines, and the various other things that create uber wabs of stress.

The trauma part was me stressing out about my husband's work change..... or more over all the fun things that comes changing jobs. That and the normal stress I experience over how the kids are doing in school, how good of a house keeper I am, how good of a mother am I, or am I just bestowing my horrid habits onto my children.

UGH THE STRESS AND GUILT!!! ALWAYS WITH THE GUILT!

There isn't a minute that goes by were I do not question what I'm doing. UGH!

Some more trauma was caused by the whole WEIGHT issues that is always LOOMING LOOMING LOOOOOOOOOOOMING over me..

The real me is trapped deep inside this fat lady and I can't seem to get out....I am trying weight watchers now...UGH I have tried so many things...I hope this is the one that works for me... I do not think I could take it if it didn't...My husband is always very helpful and supportive of me and always makes sure I know he loves me not matter what my size is.

Just for once in my life *I* would like to love me.......I never have....not even once...

Plus all the added ~~~STRESS~~~ of getting drained on the 9th. I have no idea what I'm fully in for. I am trying to make like I do not have any issues with it... but I do not think I'm doing a very good job. I do not think anything will go wrong. I'm just worried that it will not remedy the pain I have been having...and if it doesn't, that leaves me in a quandary.
Do I save myself the heartache and trauma of more poking and prodding just keeping my mouth shut and live with it, or continue trying to get them to "track it down".
I'm just sick of it all and I'm REALLY leaning towards keeping my mouth shut unless my guts start literally falling out.

Well This is my first blog on blogspot.