Can't wait until next year

WOW did I have fun at Clinton wars!!!

There was lots of dirty bad fun, and really only I know EXACTLY how dirty or bad I was.
Well Cameron and I know...........I told him everything and anything *I* did, however not everything that people may have done near me. " WHAT HAPPENS IN CLINTON STAYS AT CLINTON!!! " ( As I hear a sigh of relief from those who were DIRTY DIRTY DIRTY monkeys and are reading this MUHAHAHAHA)

What can I say I haven't had THAT much fun since I was a single piss tank living to be a "weekend warrior".

I'M STILL A WARRIOR!!!!

However instead of a weekend one.... I will be an "at least a yearly warrior" for sure.... I am just hoping that I can get to next year's Clinton... but I'm sure if I talk to my family NOW we can make it happen for THEN.

I had quite a few funny things happen on my holiday....all must be told in person...one was "the bra thrust story" you'll laugh , you'll cry ... you'll wonder how I can been seen in public with my head up :)

Jamison (Cameron), Elspeth (Mellissa), Aine ( danni) and myself (my SCA name Constance) are all in a Order we invented for shits and giggles.
We are the "order of the dirty dirty dirty" which we call "ODD D" were we have the honor of awarding people with necklaces for various "deeds" some are as follows:

The H Factor necklace- ( this is for when you see something HOT) it is a necklace of beads green, white, and/or silver, with an accent bead(s) in the middle of the front for this one it is two orange and yellow beads (orange pointed in towards each other) with a hot red bead in the middle.

The Nocturnal Noises- this one if for if you hear somebody getting frisky in the wee smalls of the night. It is denoted by a it is a necklace of beads green, white, and/or silver, with an accent bead(s) in the middle of the front either is two black beads with either a blue (for males) or a Red (for female) mind you the one we handed out THIS weekend had a red bead on either side and three black beads in the middle... but we realized that would not be as effective as doing it the other way

There are a few others that there are, but since I do not have the list, so it is hard for me to write it all down.. However I AM trying to get to a point.. each of us members have our own "favor" necklace. This is a necklace that has a bead of our choice (our favorite bead that speaks of our personality or just our favorite colour, mine is a cobalt blue glass bead) This necklace is given out to the person or people who just "made your event" it doesn't have to be in a dirty way either.

This weekend I gave out my "favor necklace" to somebody who helped make me feel like I was finally "IN" with the WHOLE shire....made me feel like I was actually part of the entire shire and not a by stander. This person would wait for me when I straggled, call me by my name, include me in the "we are all freezing our butts off huddle by the fire", and made sure that when we spoke in a circle of people that other people were not putting themselves between me and the group thereby isolating me. (having their back to me basically cutting me off from the group, which happened ALLOT last year..not intentionally but it did)

There are very prominent key people in the shire .. I guess it would be the equivalent to "the cool popular kids" from highschool. They are the people who have been around for a long long time....
Well I was accepted by most of the "cool kids" fairly easily since I started playing. There was a certain group of people that have always been very well respected, however they rarely if ever spoke to me....which made me feel awkward especially in a group if I said something and they didn't respond at all.

This Clinton that changed... I went from last year feeling like a shadow following a couple of people, just hoping to be introduced and NOT forgotten (which most of the times the introductions never happened...and I felt even more forgotten..and more like a shadow). to this year feeling like an independent social butterfly.

This year was SO different I was able to walk around and find people on my own. I didn't need to be "following" anybody (for lack of not knowing where to go or what to do). I didn't have to stay GLUED to the people I came with (if I didn't feel like doing whatever it was that they were doing). I even got HUGS!! I got spoken too, repeatedly...and I was able to be more myself around everybody and not utterly paralyzed from fear of doing "the wrong thing". A big part of this I feel was that special somebody who took the extra time and effort to include me even though they didn't know me very well. Again thank you. ** HUGS**

Before any of the other people that I dearly care for in the SCA get there nose out of joint. This post IS NOT intended to make how you guys make me feel any less valuable if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have had the courage to have even gone to Clinton last year..and I thank you guys for that, and for the support and friendship that you have shown me.

This Clinton was the closest I have gotten to "the real me" the before my "anxiety disorder Lorna" I have been in a long long time...I do not know why I became so afraid....it SO isn't me.
This last weekend has given me a new energy and confidence back that I used to have. It made me feel powerful. I LIKE THAT FEELING!!!
I am thinking if I get enough courage that I MAY take up a fighting style ( heavy or rapier) which one...I haven't decided yet. I have no clue which I would be any good at, if any. I wish there was a way I could be tested without having to foot the bill for the gear first.

if next Clinton is anything like this Clinton I'm going to have a hard time waiting an entire year!