Green Lantern Meatloaf

Well yesterday I thought it would be fun if I did something a little different for supper.

I had planned the ever exciting "meatloaf"...so to make it more fun I asked my son if I should make it into a meatloaf man.
He reminded me of a conversation we had earlier this month were I had said I would make the Green Lantern symbol out of the meat loaf.
So I did just that.
The following pictures are of the process.

1. I created my meat loaf meat ( secret recipe) then shaped it into the Green Lantern Symbol

Step 2:  After thinking about the different thickness and the fact that this particular pan does NOT have a lid I decided to throw bacon on top of it to keep the moisture and the juices in the meat.

Step 3, Again to keep the juices in the meat and for added flavor I put a sauce made of tomato soup and various spices over top ( picture below is BEFORE cooking)

Step 4: Bake it in the oven!

I tasted GOOD :) and that isn't just me saying that my whole family thought to too :)

So I posted the pics on my facebook. and My buddy Travis had this to add:

"In brightest day
In blackest night
No protein shall escape my bite
Let those who worship broccoli's might
Beware my power, MEAT LANTERN'S LIGHT"

Which just made me roar, so I thought I'd share that too :)



The kids have some other idea for dinner/art that they want me to do, so I'll add those to the blog as I attempt them.

Life's little moments

Well the other day I was sitting watching TV when I heard “MMOOOMMMM, MMOOOMMMMMM??” I looked over to see my daughter all tangled up in her bike lock (she had her head and leg both looped through the locked bike lock.) So before I helped her I did what any other good mother would do. I took a picture.  Then I started thinking about the funny things that have embarrassed me over the years…Which I will now share with you.

***********

Embarrassment 1

I once lipped off a whole soccer field of boys13-15 years old (which was my age group at the time). Saying things like "You guys are lame”, “You don’t know how to play”, "If I wasn’t in a skirt I’d show ya".(I used to be very athletic in my youth) anyways insert UNCLE BEN’S INSTANT KARMA here.

No sooner had the lipping off left my mouth I suddenly slipped on the grassy slope of the field. Sliding down that slope of my back made my denim skirt turn inside out and up over my waist. Waist down was utterly exposed with my nylons and underpants freshly filled with big, globby, gooey, chunks of mud and grass.

I look up to see a field full of boys with their mouths a gape.....
For about 2 seconds.....
Then I see them all doubling over in laughter as one of them yelled “YA LORNA YOU SURE SHOWED US!!!”
Scrambling up what was left of my battered pride I pulled my skirt back into place…and left for the girls bathroom as my friend ran and borrow gym strip from somebody I could borrow.

***********

Embarrassment 2

Another time I was with some buddies (guys) pub hoping on a Friday or Sat night, it was my friend Ken’s b-day. It was me and 5 guys…somehow I always landed up being the only girl amongst guys.
Well Ken wanted to go to a stripper bar. Since it was his birthday and I was totally out voted (even without a vote even taking place) we went to see strippers. We found ourselves in the OH SO CLASSY “Flamingo” in Surrey.
 

I had been in a stripper bar before because I used to work in a hotel that had one and I’d occasionally have to get stuff out of that part of the bar when it was open.

But I had never been to a stripper bar for entertainment. I thought to myself,

“Okay I’m cool... just one of the guys…I can take it…”

OF COURSE Ken wanted to sit in what he called “Gyno row” (right at the stage)

Again I thought “Okay I can do this no problem”

Well the stripper came out and was working her routine…everything was fine we all got a drink and we had been chatting.  I had made sure my head was turned away from the stage…looking at the guys I was with because I didn't want to stare (or seem like I was gawking) Everything was fine...
UNTIL….

She noticed me NOT actually looking AT her AT ALL. (the place was FULL btw).
So she stops dead in the middle of her act, stands up, then looks RIGHT AT ME, and says “I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING DISGUSTING YOU KNOW!!! YOU CAN LOOK!!”.
The ENTIRE room looked at ME! Then in a drunken, horny, hooting, fashion with various yelling and what not they voice their agreement with her.

I was SOOO red faced….and speechless.

My buddy Ken was laughing so hard (along with the other guys in our group…Ken managed to spit out amidst the laughing that I had just given him the BEST b-day gift ever, getting the opportunity to see me HUGELY embarrassed and speechless. Him and the guys howled on and off about that for the rest of the night.

************

Embarrassment 3

You know when you are out with a group of your friends and you see somebody who is ….kind of androgynous looking.  Well again I was out with my buddy Ken and some other guys we knew. We where at “The Pantry” in Newton (this was quite a number of years ago) There was a server there who was very androgynous, we had been sitting there for quite a while drinking coffee and chit chattin’ everytime the server came into the room I would look and try to figure out “is that a guy in drag or is it a chick?” Either way makes no-never-mind to me but my curiosity was burning my brain. Ken noticed I was rather quiet and asked me, “What’s up”

I whispered to him…”Is that a guy or a girl?”  Ken looked and shrugged, and went back to chatting…

Out of nowhere the server came over to our table (she wasn’t our sever) and leans over to me with her husky body builder frame and her very square chiselled looking jaw. She looked right in my face, and asked in a masculine female-ish voice said “DO YOU THINK I’M A MAN?”

My eyes the size of diner plates (I was terrified I was about to get my butt kicked by a body building he/she) I responded “NO, I’d never think that.”

She said, “Good because I’m not, you know” and she walked away.

I exhaled my face was HUGELY red again, Ken was again in stitches of laughter saying “twice in the same week”  Which then led to the telling of “Embarrassment 2” to the other guys at the table with us.

 At least this time I could laugh at it too.

Feel free to comment with an embarrassing story you may have.

A small update

I have sooo much to say but I can’t because it isn’t all just about me…… just know I have grown and I’ve found a peace in myself and my faith that comforts me in way nothing ever has. So much I didn’t understand makes SOOO much sense now. I wish I could make others understand, but I just sound like a crazy person…so much so I get embarrassed to tell anybody. Imagine how crazy Noah looked, building a boat in a dessert…such a BIG boat, and when people asked him he said “because God told me too” but that is how the epiphany makes me feel…like if I told anybody they would be okay do you have any idea about how strange that sounds….and why would god talk to you? Why would that aspect of your life even make a real difference to god anyhow, it is soo small in the grand scheme of things. So I keep it to myself….hoping those who are close to me understand and do not think I’m a whackadoo.

I have grown a lot. I’m filled with an inner peace. I am also filled with a strange confidence in myself and certainty that was never there before. I will write more as I come up with stuff.
But there is a little teaser for now.

What is lost

Well it is looking like the funeral will be held on the 8th of Sept 1:30 pm at our church.

I keep having sudden out bursts of sorrow and weeping, then I'm okay....then I'm crying again. The outbursts mostly happen when I think of things like:

-The fact that over the ten years I knew him, I only got one hug from him ever and that was on my wedding day.

-That I never got to tell him that I loved him...

-When I say something at the house. (the house being Laureen and Jim's place) Something that Jim would have ran with it. Then we would have been going back and forth, either cracking up OR grossing out the others. Now I say something and it gets left behind. There is no laughing......

-How little time my kids and I got with him. How angry I feel when I think of all the time the others had and how some of them wasted it by being petty and small.

-He was the weirdness that made me feel at home at Jim and Laureen's house. Now he is gone......I feel like a weirdo who nobody truly understands now.

-How I'll never get to scratch his back again,(he was kinda like a bear against a tree) and the kids will not get to play with Papa's hair (the kids would play with it and make it stick up in funny ways)

-How I only got to hear maybe a 1/8 (if that)of his funny stories about his life.

-How the kids only got one summer holiday to the cabin with him. How they were really just getting to know him like how the other kids knew him, and how he was just getting to know my kids developing personalites.

-How I never got to tell him how important he was to making me feel like "one of the family". I'm not saying that the others do not make me feel welcome, they do... but Jim made it feel familiar...he was crazy like my mom and her family. I think it is something about both all of them being born on an ISLAND ..I find people who lived on islands sense of humor is way more BENT than the rest of the world.


It is strange even though over at Cameron's mom's house I'm surrounded by people who love and care for me. They are funny people, without Jim there I feel a strange loneliness, I feel like a thumb on the hand... I'm important and I'm suppose to be there, but I'm not like the others....

I could identify with Jim.

Cameron and his mom are quite the similar ...and Jim and I were very much similar..... So when Cameron and I had personality clashes Jim understood in a way nobody else could, because Laureen and him would clash in similar ways....now that understanding is gone.

I feel ripped off.

I feel ripped off for my kids too.

We never got to meet Cameron's grandpa, or grandma, and now to loose Jim. So many of the people who meant so much to my husband while he was growing up and how I never got to know....our kids never got to know.

The thing that make s me SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO angry are those who actually HAD the chance and THREW IT AWAY................for NO GOOD reason....just being petty and small.
They are STILL throwing it away...by not even attempting to make amends with those who are left...
It makes me want to ~~SCREAM~~~ at them....because my kids never got the chance.

I didn't get to see Jim when he was able to move and do as many things as he could before.
The time I got with him he was in pain the whole time. He didn't go out very much because due to the pain he was in. I only got to know "hurting sedate Jim" not "dancing with aunt Darlene at Christmas Jim".

It isn't fair.

I know my pain isn't as bad as Cameron's, or Laureen's. I do not profess it to be...I never would.

I can only speak of what I know and experience.

My kids missed out on my dad, my brother, my grandparents, Cameron's grandparents, and now their Papa. I worry that Nigel is too young to remember him...that as he ages..Jim will fade from his little mind. I worry about Sadie forgetting too, but because she is older I hope that she is old enough to remember some.

There is so much due to death, I never got a chance to know....so much my kids didn't get to know...

It isn't fair.......it just isn't fair

So if you are reading this think about that person(or people) who is(are) special to you, and even if you are mad at them for some silly thing, LET IT GO.... go back and spend time.. even if it is just a coffee every now and again..do it now! Because when it is gone...it is gone forever.

Really, are most of the things people get offended and angry about worth a life time of guilt when they die?? Not likely.

*SIGH* not again.

I have come to the disturbing realization that I have an "attention seeker" in my life.

For those of you who do not know this is a personality disorder, I've included definition and symptoms below.

Attention seeking

Like most personality disorders, attention seeking occurs to different degrees in different people and reveals itself in many ways. When present in excess the short-term benefits are outweighed by long-term unsustainability which can, and often does, lead to disaster.

The need for attention is paramount to the person. He or she will do or say anything to obtain that attention.

In most (although not all) cases, the identified attention seekers as a female whose objective is to demonstrate to the world what a wonderful, kind, caring, compassionate person she is. Bold pronouncements, a prominent position, gushing insincere empathy.

The Attention-Seeker

Motivation: to be the centre of attention

Mindset: control freak, manipulation, narcissism

Malice: medium to high; and when held accountable for their actions, very high

• emotionally immature
• selectively friendly - is sickly sweet to some people, rude and offhand to others, and ignores the rest
• is cold and aggressive towards anyone who sees them for what they really are or exposes their strategies for gaining attention
• over-friendly with their new target, especially in the initial stages of a new working relationship
• over-helpful, with their new target, especially in the initial stages of a new working relationship
• overgenerous, with their new target, especially in the initial stages of a new working relationship
• manipulative of people's perceptions, but in an amateur and childish manner
• manipulative with guilt, but in an amateur and childish manner
• sycophantic, fawning, toadying
• uses flattery to keep a person in authority on side
• everything is a drama, usually a poor-me drama
• prefers not to solve problems in own life so that they can be used and re-used for gaining sympathy and attention
• capitalizes on issues and uses them as a soapbox for gaining attention
• exploits others' suffering and grief as a vehicle for gaining attention
• misappropriates others' statements or behaviors, e.g. anything which can be misconstrued as hostil towards them, for control and attention-seeking
• excusitis, makes excuses for everything ( in order to sometimes justify behaviors)
• shows a lot of indignation, especially when challenged
• lots of self-pity
• often as incredibly miserable, apart from carefully constructed moments of charm when in the act of deceiving
• demanding of others ( more so than of themselves)
• easily provoked
• feigns victim-hood when held accountable, usually by bursting into tears, arguing or claiming they're the one being bullied, harassed, or mistreated
• presents as a false victim when outwitted
• may feign exclusion, isolation or persecution
• malicious
• constantly tries and will do almost anything, or turn conversations so they can be in the spotlight
• may include Munchausen Syndrome
• the focus of their life is to be the centre of attention, even if they are unaware of it.
  

I had another person in my life quite a few months ago who started off doing MANY of these very same things....this was the "friend" of 15 years I had to completely remove from my life because she had been hurting too many people I care about, and being an emotional vampire.

I do not want to remove another person from my life....but I am finding being around them is getting to be very draining.

I care about this person, but I doubt they would even admit to themselves that he/she is behaving like this...which would be the most important first step.

I have been agonizing how to put all this into words that made sense. I do not want to be somebody who jumps to conclusions...but the more I see...the more I see a problem. This is something that I need to mull over much more.....I pray that I am wrong, but I doubt it....

So I will also pray that they gain the help they need, or at least the perspective to see that this may be a problem. It does make me feel pretty helpless though. I know if I told them this they would become VERY agitated and that would get my anxiety disorder acting up...and I want to avoid that as much as possible....if I wasn't on my meds for depression I would have probably gotten right hot with this person already...especially with some of the things that are going on....but for my control I'm glad I am on my pills they help me to think straight and see clearer.

I just hope they see clearer soon too.