Maggot

An egg
Tiny
Benign
Hatches

You maggot
You grow and fester in me
You are alive and wriggling
Eating me from the inside out.
You grow and grow.

You fly
Buzzing around in my ear
It is deafening
Make me crazy
I swat and miss
Swat and miss again
I can’t get rid of you

You lay more eggs
Soon my body is swarming with the eggs you planted
I have no control,
I swat and fight
I hate you.

Sometimes it looks like I’m winning
But I’m just failing
Floundering
You can’t help me
You do not see them
You do not understand
With that you inadvertently help them.

I’m riddled with maggots
I am over whelmed.
Always they are there
I can hear them wriggling
It is like screaming in my ears

They eat away at my insides
I am only clean white bones of what I was

At least I’m thin now.

For my husband

Like the air, he is around me.
He warms me when I'm cold
He cools me when I'm hot.
He is a person I love to know, I love to love.
With him I am complete
I am independent, but I do not WANT to get through this life without him.
I like him, he is my best friend, my anchor, my rock, and my shelter.
Always in my heart and always in my thoughts.
When problems arise we work together making each other stronger
We walk together, our heads may turn but our steps never falter...
Even when he is far away we walk together




I'm really missing you

Long shift?

Roses are reds
Violets are purples
remember the girl
who speaks in circles

The weird writings a result of long shift in my van WITH internet connection WHOO HOO.

Sometimes my brain starts to wander and sometimes it even takes me with it.

Lunatic lunch

Do you smell it?

Feel it?

It covers me like mud

I can’t absorb it

Yet I can’t get clean

How do I get my soul clean in such a mess?



They never understand.

They can’t

They aren’t wired that way.

I have been damaged in many falls.

So I rewired myself bit by bit, as I could.

Now I only make sense to me and, maybe an open heart.

Truly open,

No hiding

No justifying

Open like a book for all who care to read.



Mud is bitter and will taint me

It taints all it touches.

Even if it is only to pick it up in order to fling it

Some always stays with you under your nails

Where you can’t see, but you are still filthy.



Never stare at yourself in a mirror to close for to long.

The flaws and filth will burn out your mind.



Do I sound like a lunatic, or a prophet?

Confucius or confusion

Everything new sounds crazy…….

Until.... it works… then it is brilliant

Insanity and brilliances are only separated by success

One has it the other doesn’t

I’m tired of being crazy; it’s somebody else’s turn.

A poem "Untitled"

A single moment...
lingers...
is gone.

Forever in my mind...
burning my sanity with what if's and might have been's.

The uncertainty of my being...
questions I had answers to...
all washed away.

For a brief instant....I glimpsed all his designs
I knew god.
I knew clarity.
I knew security.
I knew my purpose.
I knew why I'm here.
I knew what he wanted of me.
I knew the lessons I should bring.

Now....
Confusion crashes over me....
Fear rapes me with wild abandon leaving me spent and disturbed
I'm cold and hurt inside and out.

I sigh......and reach for my coffee

The man I knew

I had soo much I wanted to say but I couldn't fit it all in.

James Lorne Hull was the man I knew
Stolen before his time was due
Sorrow left us feeling raw
Add in salt, the final straw .
Broken hearts, falling tears
Longing for the stolen years

A bag of shirts, smile on his face
Lead him to that warm embrace.
I learned the stories from his life
That brought him to his loving wife

An instant Dad, A guiding light
Tried to teach them wrong from right
Even when it didn't work
An upset kid can be a jerk
He could have walked at any time
But he CHOSE to tow that line.

Forgiveness he had always tried
Even at his last bedside
Petty arguments washed away
specially on his final day

I wish our children had got to see
How great a "papa" he could be
I didn't get much time with Jim
Or to say that I loved him.
James Lorne Hull was the man I knew
Stolen..... before his time was due.