Vancouver 2011 Stanley Cup Riot: violence and bad choices.

Sadly I saw this coming.  I knew if Vancouver didn’t win.  People would use this as an excuse for making very BAD CHOICES by being violent, causing destruction and theft.

I am disgusted, ashamed, however not shocked.

All the work we all did as Greater Vancouver to welcome the world during the Olympics, to show the world our hospitality.  To show what a safe, fun, and friendly city we can be have now been pretty much completely tarnished in one evening…WTG

I have a message to you people who went out tonight “hoping for, and egging on the violence”.

YOU ARE STUPID AND SAD!

The reason I say this (other than your idiotic choice of choosing to be violent, destructive, and to steal tonight) is because everybody has a cameras on their phones ANY crime you do tonight at the riot will be sure to be captured on in some sort of way.

It will not be an anonymous crime.

My example CLICK HERE  I bet they didn’t think there would be such a clear picture of them being idiots.

Will your mothers, grandmothers, and children be proud of your choices tonight?

Are you proud of yourself?

Not only that ....do not forget your co-workers, bosses, friends, and family will also see this.
I bet your boss will be "pleased as punch" that you are a representative of their company. Oh and if you “called in sick “ to be able to make it to the game today you will probably be getting fired for lying now too.

BRAVO! I hope it was worth what you’ve lost tonight.

You have shown your true value and it is SAD.

To the “BlackBlock” using this as a catalyst for your own agenda.  If you truly believe in what you are doing have the balls to remove the masks and bandanas and OWN what you are doing…stop COWARING behind your masks.  If you can not stand up for what you are doing maybe you SHOULDN’T BE DOING IT!

To you people who stayed down there to watch the riot and got caught in it “because you wanted to have fun and watch the riot.”  If you got hurt… that was Darwin sending you a message. “You DID NOT HAVE COMMON SENCE enough to leave that situation” you are stupid and probably should NOT procreate. Do not act like a victim either, you made the choice to be in a high risk danger area and you got hurt. You made your bed now lay in it.  When a police person tells you to “For your own safety, GO HOME” then you should GO HOME!!! If you didn’t you made a BAD CHOICE and get to live with the results.

Do not get me wrong staying there on purpose is WAY different from somebody who was down there and tried to leave, but couldn’t because of the busses and the sea bus getting shut down.  Getting trapped down there is incredibly unfortunate.  To you, my heart truly goes out and I hope you found your way to a safe place.

I pray that everybody learns from this disappointing event….but sadly I don’t think the ones who need to learn the most will.

The man I knew

I had soo much I wanted to say but I couldn't fit it all in.

James Lorne Hull was the man I knew
Stolen before his time was due
Sorrow left us feeling raw
Add in salt, the final straw .
Broken hearts, falling tears
Longing for the stolen years

A bag of shirts, smile on his face
Lead him to that warm embrace.
I learned the stories from his life
That brought him to his loving wife

An instant Dad, A guiding light
Tried to teach them wrong from right
Even when it didn't work
An upset kid can be a jerk
He could have walked at any time
But he CHOSE to tow that line.

Forgiveness he had always tried
Even at his last bedside
Petty arguments washed away
specially on his final day

I wish our children had got to see
How great a "papa" he could be
I didn't get much time with Jim
Or to say that I loved him.
James Lorne Hull was the man I knew
Stolen..... before his time was due.

What is lost

Well it is looking like the funeral will be held on the 8th of Sept 1:30 pm at our church.

I keep having sudden out bursts of sorrow and weeping, then I'm okay....then I'm crying again. The outbursts mostly happen when I think of things like:

-The fact that over the ten years I knew him, I only got one hug from him ever and that was on my wedding day.

-That I never got to tell him that I loved him...

-When I say something at the house. (the house being Laureen and Jim's place) Something that Jim would have ran with it. Then we would have been going back and forth, either cracking up OR grossing out the others. Now I say something and it gets left behind. There is no laughing......

-How little time my kids and I got with him. How angry I feel when I think of all the time the others had and how some of them wasted it by being petty and small.

-He was the weirdness that made me feel at home at Jim and Laureen's house. Now he is gone......I feel like a weirdo who nobody truly understands now.

-How I'll never get to scratch his back again,(he was kinda like a bear against a tree) and the kids will not get to play with Papa's hair (the kids would play with it and make it stick up in funny ways)

-How I only got to hear maybe a 1/8 (if that)of his funny stories about his life.

-How the kids only got one summer holiday to the cabin with him. How they were really just getting to know him like how the other kids knew him, and how he was just getting to know my kids developing personalites.

-How I never got to tell him how important he was to making me feel like "one of the family". I'm not saying that the others do not make me feel welcome, they do... but Jim made it feel familiar...he was crazy like my mom and her family. I think it is something about both all of them being born on an ISLAND ..I find people who lived on islands sense of humor is way more BENT than the rest of the world.


It is strange even though over at Cameron's mom's house I'm surrounded by people who love and care for me. They are funny people, without Jim there I feel a strange loneliness, I feel like a thumb on the hand... I'm important and I'm suppose to be there, but I'm not like the others....

I could identify with Jim.

Cameron and his mom are quite the similar ...and Jim and I were very much similar..... So when Cameron and I had personality clashes Jim understood in a way nobody else could, because Laureen and him would clash in similar ways....now that understanding is gone.

I feel ripped off.

I feel ripped off for my kids too.

We never got to meet Cameron's grandpa, or grandma, and now to loose Jim. So many of the people who meant so much to my husband while he was growing up and how I never got to know....our kids never got to know.

The thing that make s me SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO angry are those who actually HAD the chance and THREW IT AWAY................for NO GOOD reason....just being petty and small.
They are STILL throwing it away...by not even attempting to make amends with those who are left...
It makes me want to ~~SCREAM~~~ at them....because my kids never got the chance.

I didn't get to see Jim when he was able to move and do as many things as he could before.
The time I got with him he was in pain the whole time. He didn't go out very much because due to the pain he was in. I only got to know "hurting sedate Jim" not "dancing with aunt Darlene at Christmas Jim".

It isn't fair.

I know my pain isn't as bad as Cameron's, or Laureen's. I do not profess it to be...I never would.

I can only speak of what I know and experience.

My kids missed out on my dad, my brother, my grandparents, Cameron's grandparents, and now their Papa. I worry that Nigel is too young to remember him...that as he ages..Jim will fade from his little mind. I worry about Sadie forgetting too, but because she is older I hope that she is old enough to remember some.

There is so much due to death, I never got a chance to know....so much my kids didn't get to know...

It isn't fair.......it just isn't fair

So if you are reading this think about that person(or people) who is(are) special to you, and even if you are mad at them for some silly thing, LET IT GO.... go back and spend time.. even if it is just a coffee every now and again..do it now! Because when it is gone...it is gone forever.

Really, are most of the things people get offended and angry about worth a life time of guilt when they die?? Not likely.

It's over

It is over, He has passed. I got the call from Cameron this evening.

My stomach hurts.

I had just texted messaged Cameron that Sadie had just looked at me and said "You wanna know what I'm thinking?? I'm thinking Papa isn't going to make it"

The first thing Cameron said to me when he called was "Sadie knew , I don't know how she knew, but she knew what was going on"

I asked "It's over" Cam said yes....

the rest of the details do not need to be shared....

I'm having a hard time...I do not want to lie to Sadie, but Cameron doesn't want me to have to deal with them learning about this on my own.

I wish I was with Cameron, I want to be there for him.

Ugh my stomach hurts and my eyes feel like they are BLEEDING from all the crying.

The inevitable....

Well something I had prayed wouldn't happen to Cameron for a long long long long time seems to be inevitable.
His dad, Jim is in the hospital (out in Kamloops because he was at the cabin when he got ill) it looks like he will not be coming out.

I want to be with Cameron. I want to be able to be sad. I thought I'd have the weekend alone to cry and get it out of my system, so I could be strong for Cameron and the kids, but I got a phone call this morning. It was my brother in-law and he was obviously upset and sounding very frazzled he had been on his way to take his two kids (13 and 16) to say their "good byes" but his youngest didn't want to go, couldn't bare the thought of seeing Papa so sick...so he was on the phone asking me if she could stay with me while I watch the dogs ( 4 dogs a German Shepherd/lab cross, a German Shepherd/blue healer cross, a German Shepherd mix something, and a beagle.) at Jim and Laureen's house

What could I say?? I had to say yes, even thought my heart wanted to be going with them to be with Cameron and to say good bye to Jim.... I know I could have gotten my mom to watch my kids for a few days. but they needed me here...with the youngest family members and the animals.

My nieces parents talked to her on the phone today to tell her "how it was looking" and for at least a half hour she was crying... not a weeping cry...but those hard ones that hurt your insides...It broke my heart all I wanted to do is cry...but *I'M* her support here, I'm her adult..I have to hold it together...I'm not the strong one in the family...but I managed to hold it together a tear or two fell but I didn't make a sound to cry.

I am sitting here in Jim's and Laureen's house almost every memory I have of Jim is HERE. I had to go in his room to look for the steam cleaner (I couldn't find it and one of the dogs peed on the floor UGH) and I opened his bedroom door and I was hit in the face with a brick of Jim's scent, now the smell as been lingering with me... following me around the house all day, and I can't be gone from the house because couple of the dogs will fight each other if not monitored (2 live here with Jim and Laureen and the other two live with Carolynn and Steve.) so I can't even run away from it, even for a while.

Cameron keeps asking me "How am I doing" but I can't tell him how I'm doing because no matter how bad I'm doing I know he is doing ten times worse (at least).
I never got to say "good bye to my dad, grandma, or Trevor.....but I also didn't have to see them die either...or see them afraid...So however "bad" I'm doing I will do my damnest not to let it show, especially since I'll probably have to be the one who explains it to our children (5 and 7 yrs). They know what death is, because of my dad and my brother ....they know it is forever.

I just feel horrible that they didn't get to know Jim better they only got one summer holiday to the cabin with them, Nigel only got 4 Xmases with him and Sadie only got 6 ... It is breaking my heart and to think about how lonely Laureen will be.. and how hard it is for me being here in their house how much more hard it will be for her....
I do not know if we even go a picture of Jim with our kids. other than the one where he is holding Sadie when she was first born.

I keep praying for a miracle. Some wondrous thing that will make this a happy ending, but every time I get updated on him, it isn't any better..
So I have to milk the most I can out of the smallest good things, like the woman who was sharing the hospital room with Jim offered her home to Cameron's family while they stayed in Kamloops, and that his brother made it up and patched things up with Jim and Jim responded to him (he hasn't been responding much because of being so ill)just so I do not completely break down.

All I want to do is call Cameron and hear his voice, but he needs his rest and I need to rest too. I have to talk to Emery tomorrow (our minister about possible funeral type stuff) I don't think I'm able to. But I have to.

I should sleep. I have no idea when I'm going home I need to get my keys out there so my cats can be fed. I figured I'd be home tomorrow, but now I'm unsure.

Last night I MAYBE got an hour sleep because of weird sensations I was having. The first one was what felt like a warm/hot breath on my neck (nobody in the room BTW) then another was something jarring the bed, then a ice cold chill, I almost felt like I was being tormented by ghosts all night long. I finally gave up on sleeping at 6 am (I had gone to bed a 2 am)

On top of that I had an interview today for a job.I swear I must have welts on my stomach from pinching myself so I wouldn't tear up or cry during the interview when I had to tell him about what was going on..in order to book my start date.

Lord give me strenght, and let me rest tonight. let everybody rest tonight.